A WOMAN whose partner had sex with her while she slept says she is still afraid, even after he was jailed for three years for sexual assault.
Tori Cahill (25) from Garryowen waived her right to anonymity to speak out to the Limerick Post because, she said, “I don’t want others to suffer this in silence”.
“This happened with someone I was in a two -year relationship with but no one has rights to your body without consent, no matter what”.
On July 7 of this year in the Limerick District Court, Joshua Judge, of Kilmurray Road in Garryowen, was sentenced to three years in jail with one suspended after he pleaded guilty to sexual assault on Ms Cahill in September 2018.
“We had been in a relationship for two years and we were living together, but things had gone downhill. There were fights and arguments. It was falling apart,” Tori told the Limerick Post.
“I don’t remember anything that happened during the night but, when I woke up, my underwear was down and he was wiping me.
“I felt very strange. I couldn’t speak. I’m normally a very light sleeper but I didn’t wake up at all until then.”
She told the Limerick Post that, after getting up to go to the bathroom, she became aware of bodily fluid from another person.
“And I was bleeding. It wasn’t a period. I was using implant contraception, so I didn’t get periods. It went on for weeks. My GP said it was a tear which could have have happened through sexual contact.”
“In the days after, he was sending me texts apologising, offering to move out, saying he didn’t know why he did it.”
“Then he started making excuses, saying he was asleep at the time, he thought he was dreaming, or that I had agreed to have sex. And he threatened to commit suicide.”
Tori kept all of the texts, but says she was still unsure about reporting the assault.
“I was terrified. I spoke to my aunt about what had happened and everything that was going on, how he was trying to confuse me. She said it was straightforward, that no one has rights to my body except me.”
She finally reported the incident in October of 2018, after calling a friend to bring her to her parent’s house because of her fear of the man who sexually assaulted her.
“It was terrible in those few weeks – him sleeping on the couch, threatening suicide, drinking, blaming me, going missing for days on end. I said, “that’s it. I can’t do this anymore’ and I went to the Gardaí to make a formal statement.”
Tori praised the response by Gardaí, saying they “were fantastic and so supportive.”
“I was believed and the whole thing was investigated. They took the complaint very seriously.”
The matter took five years to make it into court, where Mr Judge finally pleaded guilty and Ms Cahill did not have to give evidence but instead made a victim impact statement, which was given to Judge Tom O’Donnell.
“During that time, I became more and more afraid to go out on my own. He lives five minutes away from me. I had to have someone with me to walk to the shops. I left my job of seven years because I couldn’t cope.”
After being diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder and having to get medication and counselling, Tori says she is slowly getting her life back.
“I have a new relationship and a baby. My new partner is so fantastic and supportive but, even now, I’m still afraid. Fear just follows me. I tried going back to work but I couldn’t do it.”
“He’s in jail and he’ll be on the sex offenders register. That’s some closure at least.”
“I wanted to speak up because there are women and men suffering in silence and that shouldn’t be happening. No one has rights to your body unless you give them those rights, no matter whether you’re in a relationship or not.”
