THINK Bonnie and Clyde crossed with Sid and Nancy, topped with a sprinkling of The Rocky Horror Picture Show, My Fair Lady and Madonna’s Vogue video, and you pretty much have The Bride! all covered.
Directed by Maggie Gyllenhaal and starring Jessie Buckley in the lead role as Ida, alongside Christian Bale as her forlorn love interest – Frankenstein’s monster, this is a film with everything thrown at it, and where very little sticks.
The Bride’s biggest flaw, is it is way too busy to capture our imagination, and it offers little other than cheap fleeting jollies instead of something truly meaningful or inspired. Gyllenhaal flings the whole Armitage Shanks at this tawdry calamity of a movie. She opts to show substance the door and prefers to dazzle us with an over-embellished circus where elephants and tigers run riot as the big top burns all round them.
This is a monster mash that doesn’t seem to know whether it wants to be Cruella or Joker: Folie à Deux. One thing is for certain though, this doomed gothic romance, is such a jumble that you don’t know where to be looking half the time. Equal parts gangland schmaltz and snarling Vivienne Westwood anarchic fakery – enough to light up the Brit Awards – Gyllenhaal’s grotesqueries is far too glossy and empty, devoid of any real poetry.
Set in 1930s Chicago, the film opens with groundbreaking scientist Dr Euphronious (Annette Bening) bringing a murdered young woman (Buckley), who comes off like the Windy City’s answer to Eliza Doolittle, back to life to be a companion for Frankenstein’s monster.
Buckley is brilliant as the foul-mouthed floozie possessed by Mary Shelley and is joined by a stellar cast including the likes of Jake Gyllenhaal, Peter Saarsgard, and Penelope Cruz.
Sadly though, this big showy production proves nothing more than a hysterical abomination in real need of the electric shock treatment.
(3/5)