“Pain, heartache, stress and laughter”: 12 Years a Teacher

12 Years A Teacher_1COMEDIAN John Caplis, now based in Newport, has promoted and MC’d comedy gigs in Limerick since the ’00s. This weekend he brings his own show to The Locke Bar, based on his other career as a substitute teacher.

‘A tale of pain, heartache, stress and laughter’ is the byline for this show. The teacher who does not get paid for the summer – unlike permanent employees – has done all the hard graft, pain and stress so now the rest of us can join in the laughter.

“The story of ‘12 Years a Teacher’ is an autobiographical tale of my experiences and what it is like to be a substitute teacher.” Caplis informed Limerick Post this week.

From John’s teacher training in Finglas to a stint in Luton and back to a myriad of substitute work across the country, he has amassed plenty stories and tribulations. He starts the show talking about his distinctively creased forehead.

“The frown lines on my forehead are very much like the lines on a tree. I like to count my years of teaching every time I look in the mirror. I see my frown lines I go, THAT line there was Finglas and THAT line there was Luton, London.”

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John Caplis is a qualified History teacher, but the lot of a substitute teacher means that he has been asked to wing it as a Religion Teacher.

“‘How would you feel about teaching religion, John? Any experience of it?’  they asked me.

“Well! I was an altar boy. Will that do!”

His first teaching gig was at De La Salle School in Finglas. He job was to teach History to the 1BJ class, better known as the “wan bejasus class”

“They were absolutely off the Richter scale but great for material.”

Some of the comedy gold came from the pop quiz in John’s History classes.

Teacher: Stone Age was one of the earliest periods in history, Why was it called Stone Age?

Student: It was called The Stone Age because that was when stones were introduced into Ireland.

Teacher: Name one great work by Leonardo Da Vinci?

Student: Leonardo Da Vinci and ‘The DaVinci Code’.

Caplis goes through the misadventures of his early days. Stories about taking his History class on The Viking Tour on the Liffey and ending up in the Liffey. Picking out a seasonal film to show the First Years and screening ‘Bad Santa’ which is very much an adult film.

And the day when John did the one thing you should never do in a classroom, swear at the kids.

John was explaining to his class how New Grange was constructed. One student had sauntered in late to class and began flicking his ruler against the desk. John was at the end of his patience.

“I turned around and said – ‘Ian you were twenty minutes late, now you are taking the fucking piss’”

“The class was like a freeze frame of shock, then just bust their hole laughing. At the next parent teacher meeting a parent asked – ‘Are you Mr. Caplis? You teach my son Gary!

‘Would you be Mr. F*ckin’ Caplis?’”

The name stuck. “Every now and again I would hear ‘There’s Mr. F*ckin’ Caplis’”.

John remembers De La Salle school fondly. The staff were “fabulous” and the people of Finglas were “brilliant” and he got a lot of respect for his efforts in the classroom.

John’s comedy journey began with his first ever stand up gig as a student in UL. From there he played open mic slots in London and Dublin until he found himself back in Limerick.

John approached a bar manager in what was then Nestor’s Bar on O’Connell Street about running comedy gigs twice a month in Wednesdays.

“ At the first ever gig my mate was collecting money for me in a pint glass and he said –

‘You never know, John, you might have Tommy Tiernan doing a gig for you one day!’”

Tommy and many other notable comedians have worked at a Caplis promoted Comedy Club gig in the intervening years.

Two of Tommy Tiernan’s forays into Nenagh were staged by Caplis. Al Porter, Maeve Higgins and Jarlath O’Regan are just a few comedians who played their early gigs at one of John’s comedy nights.

“It all started from Nestor’s Bar collecting money in a pint glass,” he laughs

‘12 Years a Teacher’ with comedian John Caplis happens at The Locke Bar this Saturday July 23.

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