THERE’S treasure in them there Dublin museums, and some of that glistening loot belongs to the good people of Limerick — even that which came via the Crimean Mountains.
Of course, all that glitters is not gold, but that doesn’t stop our Council filibusters from lusting after gilded gems. Thoughts of pillaging and plundering were on the limey sea-dogs’ minds at the recent meeting of Limerick City and County Council (LCCC).
It wasn’t gold doubloons or buried booty this scurvy lot were salivating over, either. No, it was filthy coffer much closer to home, albeit, not close enough!
Our local reps were ready to cut Mayor John Moran and his hearties down to the brisket if they didn’t get their share of the West Limerick spoils of old. The Ardagh Chalice was top of their list. They want it home in time for the 2027 Ryder Cup in Adare or the Council executive will all be dancing with Jack Ketch.
Moran and his hornswoggling landlubbers have been ordered to request that the Ardagh Chalice be ‘loaned’ from the National Museum of Ireland to be put on display for the much-anticipated golfing skirmish.
It was all hands on deck at the top table as Social Democrats marauder Cllr Elisa O’Donovan lead a company of the toughest old salts imaginable to call for the “best of Limerick” for the Ryder Cup.
A lassie that likes to keep things shipshape, she told the lily-livered pencil pushers that she reckons it’s very important that such a significant emblem as the Ardagh Chalice, is home in Limerick for the swashbuckling tournament.
“I think that it would be very culturally and significantly important for us to have the Ardagh Chalice back home in Limerick and to be put on display for the thousands of people that are going to be coming through Limerick,” Cllr O’Donovan bellowed.
Many’s the long night roving Fine Gael councillor Adam Teskey has dreamed of getting his sea legs within a jig of these worldly West Limerick riches.
Cllr Teskey, the scourge of the seven seas, has a head like a goldmine. You have to dig real deep for them pearls of wisdom.
He suggested that the Ardagh Chalice be returned back to where it was first uprooted in the potato garden of County Limerick.
Make it happen, he told Council management, or else! No better man to have them walking the plank if they don’t come good, I can tell you that much.
But how will the Council keep mutinous scallywags from trying to steal this coveted prize once they get it here?
Well, shiver me timbers if Cllr Liam Galvin didn’t only have the perfect solution for it.
“Maybe we could write to the Superintendent and ask would it be appropriate to store the Ardagh Chalice in the Garda station in Adare?
“We should work around it and get the manpower in there to try and make sure there’s a Garda sitting down behind the counter while he does his operations. This is very achievable, but we need to pull out all the stops,” Galvin suggested.
Mutiny hung over the Council chambers in Dooradoyle like a thunder-cloud, and with the insurgent mood at present, I have no doubt that councillors will have the Mayor swimming with the fishies if he doesn’t come good.
Even if the chalice didn’t belong to County Limerick in the first place, what would it matter?
Shur, only a couple of weeks ago, Cllr Sarah Kiely (FG) was boldly claiming that two Crimean cannons, stashed down on the Ted Russell docks, belong to the people of Limerick. Oh, the storm and adventure of local government.
Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum, indeed!
