Q. My sister and I live abroad, our older brother still lives near our parents, and he takes care of them. My parents gave him authority with the bank allowing him to access their accounts for convenience (paying bills, getting groceries). Thankfully my parents still have their faculties. My mum got a statement recently and she is worried that fairly large sums of cash have been taken out – exceeding, she thinks, what would have been required on a monthly basis. Unfortunately, the bank will not talk to me or my sister. What steps, if any, can we take to be sure that all is above board?
Dear Reader,
Firstly, you state that your parents remain “compis mentis”. That being so, the responsibility for managing their financial affairs falls primarily on them. While, naturally, you are concerned for them, ultimately any final decision falls to them.
Your parents might be happy to send you copies of their bank statements, bills, outgoings, etc. You both should try and reconcile the sums withdrawn as against their expenses. It might be the case that their expenses are rising in the current cost of living crisis, and they are simply surprised at the extent.
However, if the sums appear to be over and above what could be reasonably expected, they should firstly simply remove your brother’s authority to deal with the accounts. While this may cause some friction, it would be imperative to ensure the funds are not further depleted.
Your parents could put you as a named person on the accounts, along with your brother, and you could assist in managing their financial affairs from abroad. While, naturally, you couldn’t help with the groceries, you could always help in setting up standing orders, paying bills, etc. This would also mean your parents, you and your brother would have visibility on the accounts – which should remove any ambiguity.
If you are concerned that your parents are under undue pressure, you could refer the matter to the HSE Safeguarding and Protection team or apply for a formal care representative for your parents through the Circuit Court.
Family financial matters can often be fraught with tension and sometimes there is an innocent explanation. Maybe more transparency between your sister, yourself, and your brother would put everyone’s mind at rest and hopefully avoid tension in the family.
Finally, in the unfortunate event that something does seem untoward, you should talk to the HSE and of course go see your own solicitor.